Saturday, February 28, 2004
*nurul
i've decided to become his dragonfly.
and
confusion has brot me to this conclusion.
those whu heard the dragonfly story wld noe why i chose to become his dragonfly.
-smilesx-
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
*nurul
oh gawd. you noe wad? FORGEDDIT
i'm tired of having to please her already alrite.
i haf a lot on my mind.
and if she still wanna act so childishly
go ahead.
i'm beginning to dun gif a fcuk.
i think she's falling into trap of menopause or some friggin huge pms.
everytime i'm reading, she will turn off the lites in dere.
like wadthehell?
and den she was shoving the bloodie vacuum around at like 8pm?
like wadthehell?
worse den a lil' kid's temper.
even my dad noes dat she's hafing some kinda stupid moodswing or pms or menopause.
tsk.
and he cant do anithing abt it, but my daddie has been very nice these few daes.
goodie for dat, or else i dunnoo how i'm gonna take living in this hse.
i even tried being nice. i dun get anithing.
blarhhh.
cant be bothered wif her ler. go haf your lil' princess tempers for all i care.
common test ended todae! wahahhax. was feeling so light.
studied like mad larh. i was so desperate last nite dat i even slot my bio tb under my pillow
hoping it will diffuse into my head?
i was THAT DESPERATE!
lol. but some of the papers were overall okay.
some sucked. ohwell.
not everything can go our way yea?
lol. peace out ppple. my next entry will be like in 54841554 yonkers more. lol.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
*nurul
whu the hell does she think she is?
so wad if you are my mom.
so wad.
seriously SO WAD.
i noe you gave life to me.
but WHY GIF LIFE TO ME
when you noe i'm not going to be happy,
when you noe i'm going to be torturing myself every min,
when you noe wad a cruel and horrible world it is,
when you noe wad a disgusting competitive world it is
i respect you
i love you
but now i simply dunnoo
my respect for you is depleting
wad if one dae i will haf no more respect for you
wad if...
wad if one dae all cuz of you i wil haf no respect for myself
wad if...
i noe you're not in the best of moods,
i noe i am not.
but dat duzzun gif you the right to vent your anger on me
to slap me
YOU HAF NO RIGHT TO...
how do you expect me to still respect you fully when you dun show me respect.
you wish me hell
I WISH MYSELF HELL.
venting your frustrations on me izzun enuff to you
making me cry is not enuff for you
you also hafta vent your frustrations on lil' bro too
you hafta make lil' bro cry too rite?
you hafta make all our lives hell rite?
is dere some kinda sick cheap thrill you get out of this?
i hate it when pple vent deir frustrations on anithing and anione dey see without any rhyme or reason
and my mom just happened to be like these pple.
to make the two of us feel horrible is one thing.
to make the two of us cry is another.
wad the hell is fucking wrong wif my family?
you just made my life more worse den it is
you just made it worse.
YOU JUST MADE IT WORSE DEN HELL.
A Clown's Story
*nurul
You were there always when other people need a hearing ear or someone to confide to.
You were there, relently when someone needed your shoulder.
You tried to bring laughter and sunshine to everyone's day.
You tried to make everyone laugh and hype even when your're unhappy.
You tried to make someone special even when they treated you like clown.
However, who would be there to console you when you're down. When you're feeling so sad and fill with agony?
When you're so dispair and lost? When you're cold and frightened?
No matter how bad people treat you, you made them feel like angels.
You tried your every best to make them smile, while they resort to every means of hurting you.
You did not want yourself to admit defeat when people sarcase you, thus, you chose to remain a happy chap.
You tried the best of diverting the topic which seems crude.
You've shared your woes with others, people think that you're great.
They suggested you to be yourself and to be selfish for once.
But, what do you call a tree without leaves? Where can a goldfish swim besides water?
What can a clown do if he fails to make other's smile?
Looks like this - is life.